Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Farewell Red Line

No more curry fart smells
No more pink bags full of putrefying fish and rotten produce
No more unwanted physical contact from creeps
No more homeless people telling me that they want to kill me
No more drunks asking me why I stole their money
No more poop logs on the floor or on the seats
No more scary Wollaston locals with long, crusty, pointy fingernails
No more snakes named Penelope slithering around for months
No more hoards of teenagers cussing and telling each other various tales regarding each other's mother
No more sticky floors
No more obsessing that my hair had absorbed the urine, smoke, curry fart and fish smells that fellow riders contributed to the ride
No more double wide strollers running over my feet
No more backpacks or unnecessarily huge and pointy handbags digging into my back/sides
No more trains that are too crowded to fit on
No more twice-daily anxiety wondering on a scale of 1-10 how horrendous my commute will be
No more stepping on sucked-dry ribs and chicken carcass pieces in the bowels of the MBTA
No more getting startled by rats and mice with no tails scurrying around the tracks whilst waiting for the next Braintree train
No more nausea from slow trains/trains that stop and start and stop and start and chug along the tipped tracks
No more loud cell phone talkers -- in any language -- screaming in my ear
No more getting trampled by rude/weird Quincy locals trying to be the first on the train
No more fighting back tears while getting touched from every angle of my body by all parts of other people's bodies
No more running home to shower a la "The Crying Game" every day to rid my body of the sweat, germs and other people's gross skin contact

Yes, my loyal readers, I have officially stopped taking the red line to work every day.  I Great White Flighted to the suburban oasis that is the South Shore, and now have the pleasure of taking the Commuter Rail every day. 

I rode the Red Line every work day for over five years.  Naysayers didn't think I could last a year on the Red Line since I hate germs and unwanted physical contact from gross people who smell like fried fish diarrhea.  It's a big change leaving the city but I can safely say after just over one week on the Commuter Rail that I will not miss the Red Line.  Since I work in the city I am sure that an occasion will come where I need to take the Red Line, so I will keep this blog live and reflect on my random -- and hopefully infrequent -- trips on all of the nasty MBTA subway lines.

Thank you so much for reading my blog!  I hope my misery entertained you.

No comments:

Post a Comment